In a totally wrong, but understandable move the BBC have announced the identity of The Thirteenth Doctor will be unveiled tomorrow after the mens’ final at Wimbledon.

It’s wrong because it should be a secret to be revealed on Christmas Day. It’s understandable because hundreds of people can’t be trusted to keep a secret that big! Here’s the teaser:

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The question on every Whovian’s lips is, of course, Who’s Who? Which actor or actress will be custodian of the most important key in the universe?

The smart money has been on Kris “Spade” Marshall since he dropped out of the eighty-ninths season of Death in Paradise, yet speculation has increased that Phoebe Waller-Bridge will be the first female Doctor, even though she has  gone on record saying she is not the new Doctor. I can’t imagine either of them having the necessary, impossible mix of young and old that Matt Smith perfectly exemplified.

Other names thrown into the fez are Anthony Head (Buffy – too old) Alexander Siddig (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine – cannot carry a series) Sacha Dhawan (Iron Fist – Hmmm; maybe) but I can’t see any of these happening.

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I’ve been wrong before (once, but went and checked and found out I was right) yet even my leftfield choice of Richard Ayeode (The I.T. Crowd) may be too bizarre, but hell he’s gotta be a better choice than Phoebe, her unwatchable comedy series Fleabag exemplifies everything wrong with BBC comedy. They might as well go and make Miranda Sawyer or Dawn French Doctor Who.

New showrunner Chris Chibnall has said he won’t cast a gimmick for the sake of it and that, for me, suggests it’s not gonna be a girl. That said, the Dorset writer has proved time and time again he can write brilliant women characters and female-centric storylines with Broadchurch and the season finalé did feature some pretty on-the-nose dialogue implying a female Gallifreyan would be next to say “I’ve got the key.. I’ve got the secret.”

The Thirteenth Doctor’s identity will be revealed after the tennis, which is exected to be 6:30BST or as it’s known in England – tea-time.