The Walking Dead Season 7 arrives on AMC this October to fill its regular Sunday night slot and give us sixteen more adrenaline fuelled nights, tossing and turning, unable to sleep…

One in three bosses agree they dread the return of the show and its late night after-show The Talking Dead, with one Tennessee IHOP manager/taxidermist quoted as saying:

“I hate that fuckin’ show, it gives my staff so many sleepless nights… they arrive up on in here Monday morning looking like God-damned peckerwood zombies…. but that could also be the crystal meth.”

— Jesse von Breekinbadd aka ‘The Stuffer’

Season 6’s finale ended with our heroes hogtied, forced to their knees and lined up in a pretty little row in a forest clearing… We know one of them is going to die at the hands of Negan as he and his trusty, barbed-wire covered baseball bat “Lucille” play a deadly, 12 minute game of Eenie Meenie Minie Mo, Catch a Tiger by the toe.

According to show insiders, death scenes for 11 of our favorite characters – Rick, Michonne, Glenn, Maggie, Daryl, Eugene, Abraham, Sasha, Rosita, Carl and Aaron have been filmed but knowing just how freakin’ long shooting violent scenes takes, couchpotato.buzz call bullshit on that. That said, if just three or four death scenes were filmed and clips were to be leaked, they still won’t reveal a definitive answer.

The Walking Dead Season 7 has certainly got its work cut out…

First, it needs to answer one of TV’s biggest cliffhangers since Dallas asked “Who shot J.R.?” and win back some disillusioned fans.

After taking weeks to tell us Glenn’s dumpster fate early in the season, the drawn-out way that “Last Day on Earth” ended has split the audience for the second time in one year. Not only did the final episode set up an agonising six-month wait for answers, it spent most of its 65 minutes having characters proving themselves in an emotional story arc or worse, actually saying their goodbyes.

Creator and Exec Producer Robert Kirkman batted for the finale’s ill-judged and  “maddening” tease by defensively telling angry fans in a Reddit Ask Me Anything:

“I think you’re mistaking an explanation for an excuse or a justification.”

“We expected a big reaction. I will admit it’s possible this exceeded our expectations.”

Kirkman went on to promise a less maddening Walking Dead Season 7, should millions of angered fans choose to stick around.

“Scott Gimple (Showrunner) and I spent many months going over exactly how to stage it and how to adapt that scene. Many options were discussed. I do strongly believe that when you watch the Season Seven Premiere, you will see the two halves of the story and it will all make sense why we did what we did. But a whole heck of a lot of you folks are unhappy. I’m not kidding myself about that. Season Seven is very strong, we know what’s coming. If you stick around… you’ll like where we’re taking things.”

Of course, we’ll all tune in for the Season Premiere and hope to fall in love all over again but I can’t help but hear Donald Trump in those last few sentences!

“I’m gonna build a wall. My wall will be very strong. Believe me!”

The Walking Dead Season 7 lands Sunday, October 23rd, 2016.

Robert “Trump” Kirkman will be promising S07 has a tiger next! Oh, wait… what the fuck?