I admit, there was a part of me that was unsure if The Doctor should be female, and it was worrying the hell outta me.

I pictured myself writing foul-mouthed missives to the BBC’s Commissioner General and air-mailing jizz-stained letters to The Sunday Telegraph signing off with adjectives before my town like “disgusted, Pinner”

but then a realisation took me…

My only worry was uncertainty.

Let me explain: Have you ever watched an unimportant football match let’s say Uruguay v Ivory Coast and decided you want Uruguay to win, only for them to score and you realise, in fact, you want the Ivory Coast to win? Or tossed a coin to decide the outcome of something, then when it lands on tails you realise you actually wanted the heads option all along?

Well, for the past few months names thrown into the TARDIS hat rack were all totally unsuitable – Olivia Colman, Tilda Swinton and whoever the shit-tardery Phoebe Waller-Bridge might be. As I said in a recent post, I adore Olivia Colman; Broadchurch proved she has the dramatic range and Peep Show demonstrated her comedic side. But she isn’t The Doctor.

Dr Strange
and Orlando’s Tilda Swinton ia a fine actress. A little old in my opinion to play the Gallifreyan, especially since I have a theory that The Doctor should get younger with each regeneration (until Capaldi threw a sonic screwdriver in the works) but again – Tilda Swinton just isn’t The Doctor.

She’s just posh and weird.


If you think I have something against posh actors, I don’t. Matt Smith is a posh boy and weird to boot but unlike Tilda Rice, those aren’t his only qualities. He has more to him than that.

Look into matt Smith’s eyes and it’s 100% believable he has seen the things The Doctor has seen.

As for Phoebe Waller-Bridge, I couldn’t even make it through the two-minute trailer for her show Fleabag. She sums up not only everything wrong with BBC comedy, but everything wrong with Britain. “Ooooh. She’s posh and clipped. Best give her a series!” shouts Ricky Gervais camp-as-fuck version of C4 comedy bod Damon Beesley or Tiger Aspect’s double-barrelled Sophie Clarke-Jervoise.

If you’re not on the same page as me, let me explain in the most simple terms I can – Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s world only exists in film or TV or on a pre-1945 stage. She’s a living, breathing Richard Curtis film. Only much, much more condescending. And without the laughs.


Then came more, just as unsuitable female possibilities – Maisie Williams (Game of Thrones) Michaela Coel, (Chewing Gum) hell even ex companions Billie Piper, Catherine Tate, Freema Agyeman and Noel Clarke were being mentioned. No! No! No! A thousand times, no!

And every single time, just as with the list of unsuitable male counterparts (Kris Marshall, Chiwetel Ejiofor etc.) they were sending me a little loopy because NONE OF THEM ARE THE DOCTOR!!!

I was beginning to think I’d become a Daily Mail “reader”. But then on Saturday night, a new name entered the fray – new for me, at any rate. That name was Jodie Whittaker – an actress I’d fallen in love with within seconds of seeing her in Joe Cornish’s amazing debut Attack the Block. Over the course of the next 24 hours, I went from a very tentative “Hmmm, that could work” to an actual “Oh my God! It is her! Wow! They did it!” when the teaser showed her eyes and distinctive brow.

As K-9 is my witness, not half an hour before, I even told my mum I hoped it would be her and, in doing so, I realised I hadn’t become a Daily Male after all. My only malfeasement was not wanting a totally unsuited actress playing The Doctor.

Phew! I was not a racist, sexist, taxi driver – I was just uncertain.


Jodie has that special something every actor needs – watchability. Check out her scene in Broadchurch after her estranged husband wants to get back together and she explains how she feels. She just pulls you into her world, her heart.

The 34-year-old, Huddersfield actress (which means she’s probably not posh!) said “I’m beyond excited to begin this epic journey – with Chris and with every Whovian on this planet,” Whittaker said. “It’s more than an honour to play the Doctor. It means remembering everyone I used to be, while stepping forward to embrace everything the Doctor stands for: hope. I can’t wait.”

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-_bSdWEYK8&w=692&h=419]

Incoming showrunner Chris Chibnall stated “I always knew I wanted the Thirteenth Doctor to be a woman and we’re thrilled to have secured our number one choice. Her audition for The Doctor simply blew us all away.

“Jodie is an in-demand, funny, inspiring, super-smart force of nature and will bring loads of wit, strength and warmth to the role. The Thirteenth Doctor is on her way.”

Well, THAT THERE is the exact news I wanted. Matt Smith rocked his audition and look what we got. The Best Doctor Ever. Maybe Jodie will do the same.

Her Broadchurch co-star Julie Hesmondhalgh tweeted:

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And if anyone says someone is the most piss funny person, that’s good enough for me. When that person is Hayley from Corrie, even better!

Oh, and if you’re wondering why the Internet is blowing up with Daily Mail readers and fanboys venting their opinion, remember it’s down to one thing, folks; Fear that Jodie will make a great Doctor. Fear that women are equal.

Jodie Whittaker will reincarnate on Christmas Day about tea-time on BBC1.