So, after months of speculation and having to sit through the most uninspiring Wimbledon mens’ final ever, we finally know the Thirteenth Doctor will be… a muthafuckin’ girl! And that, my friends is how we evolve as a race.

It’s time to wise the fuck up, suckers. All y’all internet trolls, haters, misogynists and racists – gene pools don’t get stronger by protecting them from others and staying closed off, they get stronger through diversity and dilution.

What you’ve done there is confused fear with facts, fucktards.

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So, they actually did it and I couldn’t be happier. News on the street is that Jodie Whittaker – an adorable, talented actress who just begs empathy, absolutely rocked her audition, blowing the producers away with her vision of the character. Any knuckle-draggers who can’t handle a female Time Lord can go fuck themselves. Royally. Sideways. With a TARDIS.

My Spidey Sense reckons that someone was about to leak the news so they cobbled together this tease. The announcement that all would be revealed tomorrow is a hell of a quick turnaround and the one-minute promo looked a little rushed. I’m not saying it was necessarily filmed yesterday but, truth be told, the reveal could have been handled in a more complex and interesting way.

That’s not to say I’m not stoked, I am. I was merely making an observation, man.


Whether or not a female Doctor will be a popular choice depends largely on the quality of Chris Chibnall’s scripts. He writes expertly layered female characters and understands the female perspective better than most male writers. As showrunner, my hunch is he’ll also staff hid writers’ room with more woman.

But prepare yourselves for those insecure fan-boy haters for the next few weeks – twenty minutes into this brave, new world and they are already sharpening their knuckle-claws on Twitter.

This fan-boy thinks Jodie was wonderful in Attack the Block and Broadchurch and am excited to see what she and the new era of Doctor Who can offer. In Chibnall, we Trust.

Plus, I’m just happy it’s not Kris Marshall.

Peter Capaldi will become that much more watchable in the Doctor Who Christmas Special.