Just when you thought it was safe to go back to a galaxy far, far away, Kathleen Kennedy has announced that Game of Thrones writers David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are the new Star Wars writers.

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Look at them. Look at them. Urrrgh.

According to the official Star Wars site, the new films “will be separate from both the episodic Skywalker saga and the recently-announced trilogy being developed by Rian Johnson.”

The new Star Wars writers, Benioff and Weiss released a non-committal statement saying: “We are honored by the opportunity, a little terrified by the responsibility, and so excited to get started as soon as the final season of Game of Thrones is complete.”

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Kathleen Kennedy went on to say “David and Dan are some of the best storytellers working today. Their command of complex characters, depth of story and richness of mythology will break new ground and boldly push Star Wars in ways I find incredibly exciting.”

Maybe it’s me who’s delusion, not the hundred million fans! But in all the episodes of Game of Thrones that I’ve watched, I’ve found that these two writers lack the basic understanding of the language of film. The show’s directors do their best with the scripts they are given but nothing can save zero imagination, laughable dialogue, physics-defying geography, impossible to achieve journeys and the inability to (audio-visually) tell a story.

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Considering the deserved racism spat surrounding their white-man penned slavery tale, Confederate and the inherent misogyny in Game of Thrones, these two are the last people I envisaged progressive Kathleen Kennedy would get into bed with.

So I imagine one of two scenarios will unfurl:

  1. The world realises that, without George R.R. Martin’s original source material to rely on, Benioff and Weiss are hacks who cannot write
  2. Disney/Lucasfilm replace the pair for their unsavoury political views when their first draft sees someone raped when they can’t think of any actual story.

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Truth be told, I’m appalled by this decision. With J.J. Abrams at the helm, the Star Wars franchise was in the very capable hands of someone who understood story. Rewatch Rey’s almost six-minute silent introduction in The Force Awakens to see how well J.J. understands the language of film.

Disney should have learnt from the monumental mistake of giving Rian Johnson carte blanche on The Last Jedi.

It was a move which backfired and gifting the franchise to these fucking clowns is a move too far for me. After Star Wars IX, you can count me out.