If I’m guilty of being a couchpotato nerd vampire, TV is the audio, visual & emotional blood-fix I crave every second of every day.
So, I decided to harness my life-long passion and experience to write about TV in a less formal way than all those stuffy sites which can’t say words like bugger, tit-fuckery and ass-witch like I just did.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT COUCHPOTATO THAT ELEVATES IT ABOVE OTHER TV SITES?
If I had to tell you about Couchpotato, I’d begin by saying Couchpotato is about television and television only. I may reference them but I don’t report on movies. Ever.
Most importantly, I’m not interested in pointlessly recapping the events of an episode you’ve just watched. I focus on the most interesting aspects of an episode, often providing deep insight into storytelling, structure, mythology, writing, direction and editing. So, if you’re a serious TV aficionado or budding writer or director, you’ll hopefully learn a thing or two from my unstructured, stream of consciousness diatribes!
WHEN DID THIS LOVE OF TV BEGIN?
As a feral child, raised by wolves, I lived in a world where Uncle Jesse from Hazzard County taught me to make moonshine and where police boxes were bigger on the inside. I survived as a Littlest Hobo, went thru sixteen different flavors of hell and got Lost with a little help from my friends, would never, ever get on no plane, fool… I Justified the Strangest Things but always, always went back for Bobbi’s Unicorn. Oh boy!
As a teenage Desperado, I drank Earl Grey hot, played House with Al & Peggy Bundy ’til the CHiPs were down, spent Happy Days hitching rides Due South with Perfect Strangers and Mad Men from Eerie, Indiana across the Homeland to Beverly Hills, 90210 with my Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air.
I killed Laura Palmer, had Hannibal for dinner, walked with the dead, pushed daisies, and was abducted by mountain lions on a weekly basis.
As a Thirty-Something, I’ve been an E.R. Doctor Who has slain vampires, worked in The Office, The Newsroom and Studio 60, crash-landed and been Lost on magical islands, curbed my enthusiasm, walked The Path, worn The Wire, sworn oaths in The West Wing to 24 Presidents. I took an Alias, dreamed of Jeannie, loved Lucy, crossed Jordan, and became an International Assassin as I pledged Cheers, got M*A*S*H*ed in Atlanta.
I’ve been 86’d from Al Swearengen’s whorehouse. I’ve ridden with SAMCRO, fornicated in Cali, used science (bitch!) and Broke Bad in ABQ, hacked Evil Corp in NYC, watched the money in that banana stand go up in smoke and ate Leftovers as 140 million people departed before my very eyes.
I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… but everywhere I go, I always have one eye out for the one-armed man wot murdered my wife.