After a compelling start, the final few episodes of Glitch went downhill faster than a long-haired flaming galah in a Cheeto-flavored cheese wheel.

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The closer Glitch got to its finalé, the less it makes sense it made as character’s already unclear motivations vanished into the ozone layer. In episode five, as the last episodes should be cranking up towards a crescendo, bad-guy antagonist Terminator Vic falls badly and breaks his leg, rendering him a useless threat until he recieves a Near Dark-esque operation in a barn. Odd.

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Twenty minutes before the end of episode six, the writers remember that this is the final episode and hurriedly try to recompense. After said operation, Vic’s leg heals within an hour (okay, that ‘s thanks to Noregard’s miracle drugs) and,in a one minute conversation, Vic convinces his biggest threat, John Doe to switch allegience and kill everyone. #sad

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A SEASON OF TWO HALVES

The inciting incident, set-up and impact upon character’s relaionships takes up the first three episodes but when it comes to conspiracies, a worthy antagonist and things actually… ya know; happening, the series falls flat.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that some of these problems arise because Glitch is written and made by an almost entirely female crew of writer/directors. That’s not a diss – in an odd way it’s a compliment – the show’s emphasis is on emotional beats and feelings, not problem solving (as so much of the writers room is about.)

While Loiuse Fox and Emma Freeman et al forgot this was a paranormal series, a male crew would have made for a spookier show. That’s not exactly a compliment becaus horror is just a series of well-defined tropes; the biggest exponent of style over substance – its tricks of the trade maketh the genre.

Perhaps an almost entirely female writers’ room is why some of the characters chopped and changed their minds quite so much. James uneccesarily goes here, Kate uneccesarily goes there… always seeming to have “one more thing they must do” zigzagging from one location to another and back again as opposed to a straight A to B motivational throughline.

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Just as importantly, none of the dramatic set-pieces work; blocking and fight choreography was amateur to the point of college student films. Yes, I’m saying I think men make better technicians.

What Glitch, and particularly its final episode “There must be rules” has reiterated (to me) is a rule of thumb that I already knew and was reminded again many times from recent experience working with my female writing assistant, Sawyer. Men’s brains work in straight, masculine lines – we’re problem solvers who find the quickest route from A to B. Women’s work in empathasing, feminine curves. Men are the head, women are the heart.

If you need evidence of this, just look to any conversation you’ve had with your partner after a tough day at work. The man will try to fix problems by offering solutions, the woman feels better by talking it through, like this.

I’m not saying men are better than women or vice versa; each is better at different aspects of filmmaking. As single sex writers’ room won’t wash as Chris Carter will find out after he failed to hire a single female writer for The X-Files next season. 

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So, do I, Gillian. So do I. Some of my favorite TV directors are female – The Leftovers’ Mimi Leder (read this) and Breaking Bad’s Michelle McLaren, to name but two, are incredible talents. But if I get to hire a crew in the future, I’m gonna use a mixture; marry the two skillsets together, like how Icelandic law requires companies must now have a 60/40 split of male to female or female to male board members.

I’ll use male writers for problem solving; moving characters around, events and gunfights and power-plays and conspiracies and female writers and directors for emotional depth and simpatico and ideas and memories and big questions and heartbreaking deaths. #TheFutureIsIcelandic. Fair?

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For all this talk, Glitch’s failings aren’t solely down to a male/female thing, its actually more of an experience thing. Or an Australian filmmaking experience thing. Thanks to my recent work with my assistant, I’ve seen much evidence of this male/female head/heart trait recently and thought it was worth writing about. That is all.

While the Noregard Big Pharma storyline is one of the most badly-excuted conspiracies I’ve seen in a TV show, in Glitch’s defence, there were two clever, final twists I really didn’t see coming. Oh, and English born, New Zealand actress Emily Barclay (James’ new wife, Sarah) is definitely one strong actress to keep an eye on.

I know I said to watch Glitch just two days ago, but hell – it’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind!

Unfortunately, a second series of Glitch will air sometime in 2017.